ralphie and santaSanta Claus: And what’s your name, little boy? What do you want for Christmas?

Ralphie as Adult: My mind had gone blank. Frantically I tried to remember what it was I wanted. I was blowing it. Blowing it!

How about a nice . . . football?

Football? Football? What’s a football?

With unconscious will my voice squeaked out ‘football’.

Okay, get him out of here.

A football? Oh no, what was I doing? Wake up, Stupid! Wake up!

No! No! I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!

You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.


Enjoy your holiday break. See you next year!